Sunshine living

When we first moved to SoCal, I had this vision of how things were going to be.
So far, pretty much nothing has turned out the way I thought that it would.

Now that we've got an (almost) 2 year old and another on the way, I find myself struggling to keep my son engaged and myself from going crazy.  In December, I left my job to be with my son full-time and it wasn't until recently that I realized that what I walked away from was also my adult interaction.  I spent more than an hour on the phone with one of my good friends this past week - and it was the first time I had spoken to an adult besides one of my family members in a very long time.  It felt good.  I felt like I had a real shot at being a human again.

Where does that leave me now?  It leaves me searching.  My son needs friends and interactions that challenge him.  I know every parent says it, but truly, my kid is smart.  He doesn't talk a lot but he's smart.  You can see in his face that he's constantly working out the laws of how our world functions.  Gravity is definitely NOT his friend (sadly, he gets this adorable trait from me).  So I spent a part of my day yesterday researching.

With a baby due at the end of July, I have a hard time plugging into new groups of moms because it takes a lot of energy to meet new people and form friendships.  I just don't have the energy to share with new people and new relationships.

So what have I found?  I found some fun kid friendly places!

Play Town Indoor Playground - http://www.goplaytown.com/general
--Cheaper than some of the other options I've found.  Hoping to check this one out in the next week.

Kidville - http://www.kidville.com
--Also an indoor playground.  Definitely going to check this one out too.

Any other suggestions out there for things to take a very active 2 year old to do that won't require this very pregnant mommy to expend very much energy?

Trucks and Kisses

Yea, I trade Hot Wheels for kisses. You don't?

I had a discussion with a friend who happens to be an Occupation Therapist at a BBQ the other day. During the course of said discussion, she mentioned that my toddler is behind in speaking. He's 20 months old and doesn't say very much clearly. He does say things, they're just not always clear and a lot of it has to be taken in context. She mentioned that we could consider taking him in to see an OT and maybe give him a boost in his speech, or lack thereof.

It got me thinking.

Where does this "kids should be doing X by X" come from? My mother asked her family doctor if Mr. O should be saying more by now and if it was a cause for concern and he says "No, she shouldn't worry. Boys talk later. First children have a time table all their own."

This isn't the first time I've heard that boys talk later than girls. Boys supposedly walk earlier than girls. My son was walking at 8 months. The babbling started around the same time. So what does that mean? I just don't understand where all this "should be" comes from. I'm sure there are studies out there that lay it all out on the table but they're studies. What if they're not accurate? You can find a study that says one thing and then find a study that says the exact opposite. And supposedly 75% of statistics are made up.* So then what? And of course, you hear all the Old Wives' Tales about heartbeats and heartburn, etc. The docs will tell you they're not true. Sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. According to a pencil trick done by my husband's grandmother, we were only supposed to have one girl. Well, I have a 20 month old that says different. Either that or the whole penis/vagina thing is a scam....

I don't know what I'm getting at here, really. I think I spend 75%** of this pregnancy in a dazed and confused state similar to that of someone in a mental ward. Guess it keeps life interesting for my husband, eh?

*Yea. I made up that number. I worked in market research, people. I know how the numbers work. I did hear that though. That X % of statistics are made up. And it was a higher than 50% number.

**that one is made up too. Sue me. But don't really.

Mommy wow! I'm a big boy now!

This past month has been quite the month!

We're settling into our new place quite nicely and I'm sooo very happy to be on our own. After more than 2 years of having a roommate, it's been super quiet and a little on the lonely side. It'll be very nice once Baby Girl gets here, though. We haven't had to use a baby monitor because our room and our son's room are so close together that we hear him when he rolls over. Which is an exaggeration but you get the picture.

Mr. O has definitely moved to a new stage in life. Last week, when Josh's mom was here, Mr. O decided to show off. He climbed from his crib onto his changing table when she went to get him in the morning. Since he has been attempting to sky dive off that changing table ever since he was 6 months old, we figured it was time to move him to the next stage...Toddler bed! We purchased a mesh guard to go on the front of the bed and started him in it that night.

Don't let ANYONE tell you that transitioning into a toddler bed will be painless. The first night, he got very scared and stood in the hallway screaming. Our house is not very big. It's about 7 feet from his door to our door. Josh's mom called out to him from where she was sleeping on the couch and he was off and running. He finally got calmed down when Josh picked him up and slept the rest of the night with no issues. I got some feedback from some Facebook friends and family and rolled up a blanket to place next to the mesh guard. I have a feeling he was worried because the mesh guard gave when he rolled over into it and it made him feel like he was falling.

Night number 2 was painless. He slept all night.

Night number 3? He was up four times. I'm not sure if he was frightened or if he wasn't feeling well but he refused to sleep.

Night number 4 he was up once and ended up in bed with us because I was too tired to take him back to bed.

Night number 5 he was up twice and the second time he stayed in bed with us.

Night number 6 was last night. Holy moly. He slept until about 3am and then brought the whole house down. Josh attempted to get him to sleep in his bed and he was NOT having it. Josh worked with him for an hour before I went in to relieve him. It took me three tries but I finally got him to sleep and he stayed asleep. He then slept until 7:50. It was awesome.

We're working on breaking all the bad habits we had. It used to be the only way to get him to sleep was to give him a bottle. When we broke him to a cup, it was still rough. He HATES going to sleep so he would get very antsy and put up a huge fight. I walked away with a lot of bruises. Now, he'll go to sleep sitting on the couch, watching TV. The nights he's climbed in bed with us, I've only had to cuddle him and he'd fall right back asleep. Our next step is getting him to fall asleep in his bed with no assistance.

I know people always say you learn what NOT to do with your first kid and while that's true, it's also NOT true. I love how connected we are to each other. He has a very strong bond to Josh and to myself that I wouldn't trade for the world. Do I wish he didn't wake up in the middle of the night and want to snuggle? Sorta...I'd rather he didn't wake up but I know that the snuggling is only going to last for so long. Eventually he's not going to be my snuggle bunny anymore. I'm already sad for when that day comes but that doesn't slow time. I already wonder how in the world we're coming up on his second birthday. It seems like I was just planning his first birthday!

So for now, we're just working through the speed bumps and the crazy and hoping that life will slow down just a little bit so I can smell the roses.

It's a....

Girl!

Thursday was our ultrasound for gender and we were (not so) surprised to learn that we're having our girl! We've known it was a girl pretty much from the start. Everything is a 180 from my pregnancy with O. I'm much more hormonal, eating a lot more, showing earlier, etc. Everything is so different. It was just awesome to have that confirmed!

This may be our last baby. I know it will be for awhile. In some ways, that's disappointing but in others, it's a major relief. This pregnancy has been a lot harder on me physically and emotionally so it's a relief that we may not do this again. On the other hand, I love my babies with everything I have and would welcome more children. It's a fun conundrum.

My mother is currently visiting, which has been nice. She's here for another week and some change, so we're hoping to get a lot accomplished in the terms of packing and cleaning. We move at the end of the month, so the time creeps up quickly. We're still not 100% sure where we're going to end up. We have a lead on a house in Oak Park, but I'm not sure we're going to get it. It's an awesome place and it would be amazing to have our own house until we can buy one but who knows.

I guess it all works out in the end, eh?

She says it's all gonna end and it might as well be my fault....

Lately everything that has gone wrong has felt like it's my fault in some astronomical way.

Our toilet leaked and that was my fault.

Mr. O isn't sleeping so very well and that's my fault.

Mr. O is a holy terror and it's because I'm doing something wrong so again, my fault.

I *know* that it's not my fault. I mean c'mon. I can't directly effect things so much that it's like the world around me is ending. Perhaps it's because I've been reading The Night Circus where everything does rely on 2 characters. Who the heck knows? I can tell you that I've spent most nights in tears because I feel like I'm failing my son.

I'm terrified that I'm going to screw him up.

I'm terrified that I'm going to be at fault if he gets hurt (he has a bruise in his ear...how the hell do you get a bruise in your ear?!)

I'm terrified that I'm not cut out to be a stay at home mom and that I'm going to ruin all our big plans by failing at this one important thing.

I'm terrified that I'm not going to be motivated enough to get through my classes this semester.

I'm terrified that I'm not going to be able to keep us within our budget.

I'm terrified that I'm going to miscarry our new baby.

So I spend a lot of time, banging my head against a wall, trying not to overburden my husband with my pregnancy hormone induced crazy train.

I've got some errands to do today and it's sunny and beautiful and I'm hoping that I'll be able to shake these feelings I woke up with.

I think some Ozzy Osbourne might be necessary today. Spotify, here I come.

525,600 minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred moments so dear

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure, measure a year?

This song has been sticking with me lately. I'm admittedly a major Rent fanatic. But this song...it has always been one of my favorites.

This week, I've really been thinking about this song. One year ago today was my due date. Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes.

One week from today, my little boy will be 1 year old. Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred moments so dear.

I look back at the pictures and I'm floored. How can he be so big already? How can his first year of life have passed so fast? But I know that ahead of us is many many more daylights and sunsets and midnights and cups of coffee and I am relieved.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6yPSeDlcrI

Teething continues!

My own little mister has a set of 6 teeth now and all signs point to more teeth coming thru.

One thing to note, when attempting to come out of motherhood unscathed is to pay attention to your childs' trends. If I didn't notice the trends, there'd be no way to tell that O is teething.

When teething, O gets an incredibly runny nose and his sleeping habits are thrown way off. About a week ago, O started sleeping thru the night (known thru the mothering world as STTN). It was delightful! Then, about 4 days ago, no dice. He was waking up at least once if not twice during the night. Which is troublesome for any parent, let alone one who works full-time. Then two days ago, I notice his nose is just gushing. (Gushing is, of course, subjective. What is gushing for me may not be gushing for you.) So I look and sure enough, 2 little silver slivers are starting their progress thru his bottom gums. They haven't broken the surface yet so who knows how long this trend will last. The good news? He's already napping longer today than he has the rest of the week!